PHOTOS FROM SUMMER 2016

DeadDog

Tree through CarI am turning 29 on Friday, and this seemed like an appropriate time to round up my photos from the last couple of months and start a new creative cycle. I feel dissatisfied  with myself as an artist and as a person. This summer has been a struggle. I have been forced to face emotional, physical and mental challenges that I have been skirting for my entire life. My decision to try and live the rest of my life without alcohol has proven to just as scary and hard as I feared it to be. My whole life has changed. I am trying to learn to love myself and know myself and to learn from my past as opposed to running away from it. I can not believe how hard it has been. Things that I used to think were fun now feel scary. I feel more present, but I also feel more anxious and uncertain. I have an identity crisis daily, and sometimes it feels like nothing feels good. Not even food or the beach or sleeping in with my cat let alone working on projects, going to shows or trying to get into some trouble. I have a lot of work to do in order to not drink, let alone learn to live a life that is truly free and sober. Why am I telling you this?

I suppose it is because so many people that I love have been affected by my behavior, thoughts and feelings- especially in the past few months. But a lot of them still love me and are rooting for me, and that is the most incredible things in the world to me. I do not take that forgranted. Sometimes, the “big picture”- the things that are hard, the forecast of my life, the fucking fight that I must now fight every day… seems to obscure the little moments that make life worth living.

Looking at these photos made me feel a little better. Even if many are not my best. They reminded me that in spite of all the muck that has clouded my mind and heart- I did manage to have good moments with people who I love. It is important for me to look back at all these moments and remember that no matter how shitty things can feel as a whole, there are these little moments- many of which are captured in these photographs- that made me happy, even if just for a second. Some of them are better than others. A few rolls of film were destroyed by accident last week, leaving me heartbroken. I wish there were more. I wish I had gone out more, been to more shows, felt more like myself. But it is what it is, and now it is done. I look forward to what happens next, and I mean that honestly.

Local Honey
Local Honey
NolaSwimming
Swimming at “Goth Beach”
E.R. Doritios Party
Party [mix] in the E.R.
YellowShirtBoys
Margaret & Sam
BESTSuckdog
Lisa Suckdog @ Trans Pecos

Suckdogopenlegs

Nandas
Nandas @ Palisades (RIP)
MatteQueen
Club Mate in the coke room
marshstepper
Marshstepper @ Teragram Ballroom
RudolfEbber
Rudolf Eb.er @ Trans Pecos
Mardi Cops
New Orleans
dolce
Dolce @ Trans Pecos
CreepyBigBird
Perverted Big Bird after the Nan Goldin exhibit
pharm&cien
Pharmakon + Cienfuegos collab @ Trans Pecos

pharm&cienfu

Insitute
Institute

 

JustinInNola
Justin in New Orleans

It Hurts

DeadDog

Death Index condoms
Death Index @ Cake Shop
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Kommando R.J.F. @ Trans Pecos

PowerElectronics

Anal Herse
Anal Herse @ Trans Pecos
Dad&Guitars
My Dad
LadySassy
Neon Burgundy
croatianarmor
Croatian Amor @ Teragram Ballroom
AlexShirt
Alex
Angels2
Angels in America @ Teragram Ballroom
SylviaonCat
Sylvia

Please Do Not Spit in the Garden

XenoandOaklander
Xeno + Oaklander @ Home Sweet Home
KidsontheTrain
Kids on the J train
DaWolves
Haunted House
Zoe@M.A.P.S.
Zoe
Local Honeys Wigs
Local Honey’s wigs
Alex on acid
Lupe
TrickyParkinglot
Tricky Yooth live from an abandoned KFC parking lot
Odwalla88
Odwalla 88 @ Teragram Ballroom

NolaSign

meandnancy
Me and Nancy eating carrots to ease anxiety at a noise show

PHOTOS FROM SUMMER SCUM 5

Header

HeaderThe fifth and final installation of Summer Scum took place at Trans-Pecos July 9th and 10th, yielding over 50 15 minute sets from some of the world’s best noise artists.  Summer Scum was curated and organized by Justin Lakes (Shredded Nerve) and Christopher Hansell (Ligature/ Warthog).

suckling
Suckling.
StressOrphan
Stress Orphan.
V.sinclair
V. Sinclair

racetothebottom1

 

racetothebottom-2
Race to the Bottom
pustin
Justin herding the cattle

pucemary3

pucemary1
Puce Mary
Lettera22
Lettera 22
Scant
Scant
Cinfuegos
Cienfugos
Narwalz
Narwalz of Sound

paranoidtime2

paranoidtime
Paranoid Time
magianuda
Magia Nula

ShreddedPlauge

ShreddedNerve_PlaugeMother
Shredded Nerve/ Plague Mother
Liebenstod
Liebestod

Pharmakon3pharmakon2

pharmakoncrowdsurf
Pharmakon

SQRM2

SQRM1
SQRM
ligature
Ligature and Remnants
moil
Moil
doglady
Dog Lady Island
tinnitusstimulus
Tinnitustimulus
denim
Denim
Vasculate
Vasculate
RelayforDeath
Relay for Death
Dancers
Alexis & Cory

gnawed_deterge

gnawed_deterge2
Deterge and Gnawed
DrewMcDowell
Drew McDowell
coateies
Coteries
burningstarcore
Burning Star Core
49140024
Inbreeder

humanbeast3Humanbeast2

Humanbeast
Humanbeast
noiselarrydavid
“Larry David”
scummers
Justin and Chris, the bad boys who made it happen.

IMG_4477

SOME PHOTOS

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pecebaby
Cosplay on Takeshita Street, Harajuku.

While I usually try to keep my photo updates seasonal, general chaos and disorganization prevented me from doing so this past fall… and winter… and spring… I am still in the midst of organizing negatives and reviewing work from the past six months but here is some in no particular order.

bdaycakesurprise
Margaret on her birthday. Far out celebration for some of beloved Gemini’s in my life, rural Massachusetts.
Urochromesupclose
Urochromes @ Alphaville. Brooklyn.

jessshirt

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Chiro, Maid Dreaming. Tokyo, Japan.
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Chiaki & Waitress, Lock Down. Tokyo, Japan.
MarieDavidsonGOOD
Marie Davidson, Nothing Changes. NYC.
nipplehairtweezer
Plucking with Caroline and Emil.

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For Shredded Nerve “Whatever it Takes” Cs on No Rent Records.
mikeyorwhatever
Seen at Crazy Spirit record release show.
doggiesally
Puppy looking on as Sally gives Jesse a stick and poke.
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Dude During Destruction Unit @ The Market Hotel, Brooklyn.
CCTV
C.C.T.V. @ Spiderhouse Ballroom. Austin, Texas.
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MALL PROWLER @ Redlight District. Far Rockaway, New York.
gurney
Gurney post Sheree Rose performance @ Grace Exhibition Space.
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Gag @ Alphaville. Brooklyn.
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Jess post Gag @ 538.
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Chiro, my sunshine in the rain.

 

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Flared Nostril VS MOIL @ Silent Barn. Brooklyn.
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SNAKEHOLE

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Naka & Haruka @ Big Love Record Store/ Gallery.
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VALISE @ Silent Barn. Brooklyn.
shirtonfire
ZZ & Justin setting fire to a shirt that belonged to a bro who tried to fight us on my birthday.
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Sadist @ Palisades, Brooklyn.
bruisedbutt
Kyle dropped Margaret at M.A.P.S. FEST.
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Haruka ❤ Sweets for a sweetie.
MysticInane
Mystic Inane @ Spiderhouse Ballroom. Austin, Texas.
LaMisma
La Misma @ Spiderhouse Ballroom. Austin, Texas.
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Rene
bowlers
This is Austin, not that Great Fest bowling crew.
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Antisocial Terror Fabrication @ Pitbar, Nishiogikubo.
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Haram @ The Market Hotel.
lumpysurf
During Lumpy & the Dumpers.

4ChirroHamster

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Viagra
Holding a photo I had taken of him a few weeks earlier and had just developed 🙂

cowboybutts

 

littleprincescholor
Another cool old guy I met at the MET who claimed to be the world’s authority on The Little Prince.
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“Tongue Kiss” By Genesis P Breyer-Orridge @ The Rubin Museum.

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happiness

littleceaserswchange
Justin paying for our Little Caesars with change.
emmapizza
Emma making a good pizza.

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Chiaki, my amazing host and the man behind P.I.G.S.
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Another one. Late night screaming in his apartment after too much “strong”

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RIXE @ Saint Vitus. Brooklyn.

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Rene and cigarette burns post Horoscope set.
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Spiritual Recess @ Alphaville.
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New friends at my opening at Big Love.
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Mike @ 538;
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My Dad and Ray @ Rays.
1poopers
Fun for all ages!
MeandJess
Me & Jess.
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My Halloween Costume.

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